FOMO-PT365
A fragmented mind gets exhausted. Most of the day, from sunup to sundown, is spent multi-tasking and managing multiple projects for multiple people. Scrolling social media. Channel surfing, binge-watching, listening, scanning. All of it -- a rush of unorganized chaos and disjointed activity – is shoved into the cave of the subconscious.
FOMO - the fear of missing out - refresh addicted - slave to what lives in a box.
I am trying to break up with my phone. Stop scrolling X. Quit paparazziing my Bruno. Do folks find him as precious as I do? Do they care to see his handsome little face? Some might, and for all of you, I am forever grateful. But time posting pics might be better spent engaging in books. Art. Coffee. People – con-ver-sa-tion.
Alex was home for Christmas break. I asked her to sit with us on a cold, rainy night. The tree lights were on, and a glow from the fireplace created a beautiful ambiance. She sat in front of the fire, my Bill on the couch. I rested in my chair by the window - the perfect Capraesque evening.
But - my phone sat next to me.
I absentmindedly picked it up. Then I realized that we were supposed to be on a break. Back down it went, and I looked up only to see my two loves deeply engrossed in their phones – fingers and thumbs flicking in every direction.
The fear of missing out (FOMO) is an unwelcome guest in my house. It burrows inside my head, steals mindful engagement, and leads me down a rabbit hole of mindless entertainment. Albeit, engaging. Funny. Sweet. Stupid. I fall for it all. I voluntarily transport myself somewhere else when sitting with the ones I long to sit with.
Why are we addicted to what lives outside our home rather than engaged with what lives inside? Why are we drawn to the never-ending next post of whatever addictive posts we follow? Why am I feeding myself a daily diet of silly, heart-warming vignettes? It is amazing how a five to ten-second tug-on-the-heart video sucks large gaps of time through flashing minutes.
We are as weak as our weakest link, and mine is FOMO. X, Insta, Facebook, Amazon, all my addictions lead me astray. Away from books, from pondering, and then pouring my musings onto paper. FOMO calls. It pings. And alerts light up my daughter’s beautiful face as she hovers over the phone’s awakened screensaver.
The dismantling of mental health is all self-imposed. The onslaught of images thrown into my psyche - either consciously processed or slipped into the dark, toiling through the night, burrowing in, waiting to elevate emotions and stress - is because I thirst for staying informed. Up to date. In the know. What is the next tweet? Big news. What am I missing? The world shares its stories in nanoseconds. I scroll and cannot keep up. I put my phone down. In seconds, it’s back in my hand. The feed repopulates with minute-by-minute life-altering events – for other folks. My life? It’s still the same—no drastic changes, except hours of productivity lost to the universe of nothing.
FOMO is a condition that needs to be unconditioned. It sedates our intelligence. It fractures our thinking. Divides our time. Keep us from engaging in what sits next to us by engaging us with what is outside of us. Oh, if I could flip a switch and redirect the current and change my fear from missing out to fear of losing out. Realizing time is short. Minutes pass quickly, hours come fast, days race by, and years are gone, so when my family sits together on a beautiful warm night, the laughter and jokes, stories and games, are from us, engaged with each other, and not socially staged theater by a stranger in a box.
Many of us are addicts to various vices; the cleansing of the social steal is arduous, and I often relapse. Readily seeking the next feeding of nonsense - information overload - gleefully, senselessly, and robotically. But - I find - the longer my breaks, the louder the noise upon my return. The social hangover hurts my head, and slowly, I place the phone down quicker, leaving it alone longer and hoping that one day soon, I will only use the phone when I call to use it, not when it calls to me.
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You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?…
Galatians 3:1 (NIV)
Interesting article I stumbled upon.
Be safe, stay kind, show grace, and pray. Know this - the world and all in it sit in the hands of God.
This is a reminder that Ponder This comes out on Wednesday mornings. Look for us in your inbox or on the Substack App. And remember:
“Pondering is everything, and everything is worth pondering.” - Kim Knights
Love this all about being present and in the moment. That is the real stuff…. Scrolling thru phones to “catch up” creates barriers and disconnection
👍😘 very nice read - let’s work on that together- 😘