For the longest time, I've carried a feeling of embarrassment deep within my soul. It has resided there, guiding me and humbling me, leading me to make daily choices based on this harboring sense of guilt. It has been a driving force in shaping my life. I make decisions because of it. And only recently have I begun to accept it’s okay that it happened to me. It’s okay I got a blessed life.
Years ago, I remember someone saying they didn't understand why people say they are blessed. Did they not think everyone is blessed, or did they just think they were so exceptional that God chose them to be blessed? It was such an innocent ponder, but it was one of those moments that caused a slight shift in my thinking. It lingers with me to this day and may be why my safe and secure life slightly embarrasses me. I still find myself hesitant to use the words I’m blessed when things go well.
But we can only sit at the center of our universe, and the world is viewed from that place. We watch family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers live lives that are beautiful, thriving, and happy yet often complex and challenging. There is sickness, financial woes, marriage problems, addictions, abuse, deaths, or simply bad luck. My every instinct drives me to fix or help. And as I've sat and listened over the past couple of decades, I'd just be so thankful for the life God gave me. I felt – feel - so blessed, and I’m often so uncomfortable in it, because, yes, everyone has a right to be blessed. Why is my journey less complicated than others, safer, or just simply more boring and not so troubled?
I offer the Lord gives us the gift of choice and free will. These moments come to us throughout our journey, often persuading or enticing us in some direction, great or small, that might have significant repercussions or gentle redirects. We may not even realize what choices made the most impact on the life we live. But, we all have choices along this journey. And depending on where we are when our choices are presented, our journey is perceived as blessed or not so blessed.
We make choices every minute of every day, and every choice has an outcome. The collective outcomes manage the lives we live and the blessings received.
I was recently touring a university with my sweet baby girl. As we walked the campus together, determining if she would be transferring, we saw this huge rock-climbing wall in the middle of the rec center. Standing there, realizing a trajectory change was being considered by moving from an in-state university to an out-of-state during the years when choices either create the life you hope for or decide the life you get, I saw our lives like that wall.
Climbing is metaphorically like living. It’s adventurous. Physically demanding, requires strategy, forward-thinking, planning, and communication. The goal is to advance vertically, making our way up the top, the destination desired for our lives. The way to achieve this is to determine the best route among a vast splattering of hand and footholds.
Some folks prefer a direct line, straight up. Others move laterally and then vertically, zig and zag along the way. There is no correct way to the top. Each foothold or hand position is a choice presented in real-time in a real moment, sometimes precariously. Occasionally a few holds are so big, that there is no question what move is next. But some are smaller, a tad further, and depending on how daring or in peril we find life, might even require leaping off that wall, swinging to a completely new route for progress to continue.
Choices made climbing the wall determine what happens on the wall.
There’s a new Olympic sport called speed climbing, which is just that – a race to the top. The landscape of the wall or boulder is an equalizer. Every competitor competes on a standardized surface. Let’s acknowledge, though, that not every competitor is standard. Each has to learn how to manage the same wall with whatever circumstances or limitations their bodies or lives provide. Tall, short, muscular, lean, healthy, injured, focused, flexible, good training or bad, and so on. It takes years, hours upon hours of being on the wall. Falling off the wall. Testing this route. Moving the body in precise order, recognizing which path to follow and what hold to grab at a moment’s notice. The more time spent on the wall training, obviously the better the climber.
In comparison, we are novices next to them. We know they would win the race. We are not as proficient, conditioned, or prepared. Consequently, our climb most likely would be ugly, full of mistakes, struggles, and falls. We’d probably even question if reaching the top is worth the effort because our lack of training keeps us from seeing the best routes, and that’s the true metaphor I offer.
The choices made on a climb - our life - need to have a foundation built on training and time spent with the Giver of Blessings so we become more proficient in finding those blessings. Reading His Word, meditating, spending time with Him, trains us to hear Him, recognize His signs, and feel His nudges on what move is next. If we are not dialed into Him, faith, or a moral compass, in which we are actively practicing and engaging, we won’t recognize choice as a living, breathing entity inside us. We’ll stay stuck.
The Lord offers countless opportunities as a scalable wall. The size of our footholds and handgrips may differ depending on the life born into due to choices made by lines of generational choices. But the day-to-day moments will determine how we see the wall and where we begin on that wall.
Choices made climbing may determine blessings discovered.
The more time I spend pondering my blessings, I realize most came when I was actively training with Him. I may never be comfortable saying the words “I am blessed,” but I am recognizing how to accept, give thanks, and most importantly, credit for all the blessing I have found and will find on my climb.
How do you feel about your blessings?
How’s your climb going?
Are you willing to train?
Thank you for reading Ponder This and following my ponders. If you like what you read, please share. We’re trying to build an audience. Until our next ponder, be safe, be happy, give grace, show kindness, keep praying, especially for the world, and know you are blessed.